Not sure what's going to end up on this page...

My brain is in some sort of disarray.

What's that, you say? You think it's a common occurrence with me?

Eh, you're probably right :).

Mentally exhausted...it's been a common feeling of mine lately.

I have been thinking about writing...about blogging...about getting my thoughts "out" on "paper" or "a page" lately...and haven't really got around to it. Writing is typically pretty "therapeutic" for me. But lately, honestly, I've not really felt like writing. I am not sure why. I guess maybe because the thoughts I've been having don't make much sense even to me....so why would I expect them to make sense out in the open?

However...I just thought I'd give it a whirl tonight. Jeremy is out with a friend for dinner, and I'm sitting on the couch solo armed with a bowl of popcorn and my laptop. I was hoping to watch some mindless television, but our DVR isn't working for some reason. I am SOOO not technologically savvy, so I need to wait for Jeremy to get home to figure out how I can watch "my shows" that are on there ;). So...I decided to try blogging a bit. Why not?

A big theme in my life lately has been humility. It seems that just when I start to be confident...or even just comfortable...something happens to make that probably false confidence crumble down around me. I am plagued by self-doubt. It is definitely one of my biggest weaknesses. I know that about myself...and I know that "knowing" yourself and your faults is one of the first "steps" to improving upon things...but I am not really sure where to take it from there. I mean...I probably am too hard on myself as a general rule. I mean....humility is good, right? But you can probably have too much of a "good" thing...when that "humility" begins to morph into self-deprecation.

So...anyway....

I feel like I am in some sort of "limbo" right now...some sort of stagnant waiting period in my life....and I am not a big fan. I feel like there needs to be some sort of change. But I am not sure what.

some steps I've taken lately to try to stir things up a bit...

~applied for and got a PRN position as an SLP at a nursing home in Clinton, IL. Orientation is Friday. This will be way out of my comfort zone...my comfort zone is with the little kiddos. But, I truly am excited to try something new. It doesn't hurt that the pay is pretty awesome either ;).

~started changing up my fitness routine...by registering for and attending a 1x/week strength training class with Jeremy. I am by far the weakest person in the class. Definitely out of my comfort zone in a major way.

Honestly....I thought I'd have more illustrations than just those...but I guess I'm not doing as much as I thought I am.

Hm.

All around me, though, things are changing....

Friends are pregnant. People are moving into bigger and better homes. People are getting new, exciting job and career opportunities.

It is so hard not to compare. Not to feel inadequate. Not to feel like I don't measure up.

Truth is...I do like my job. I am generally happy with my life...I just feel unsettled. Like I am meant to do something "more"...I just don't know what that "more" is yet.

Time for a change

Yeah, probably time for lots of changes ;).

It's a new year, after all...right?

In case you didn't realize it's a new year/time for "resolutions"...go to your nearest gym and check it out. Likely it's packed. January is my LEAST favorite time of the year to go to the gym. It's SO overwhelming with all of the well-meaning resolution-ers...loud, cramped...talk about a sensory overload. Am I an awful person because I look forward to a majority of them dropping off the resolution-bandwagon? Probably. I should be kinder, more patient...and hope that each and every one of them is successful in their quest to adopt a more healthy lifestyle.

But alas, I am just selfishly waiting for the day when the gym is less busy. What a jerk I am.

Just being honest!!

But, anyway....where was I? Change...

So, while there are MANY changes I should be making (sadly)....I think I'll start with a new blog title. I've been playing with different titles in my head for a few months (as if it REALLY matters!)...

As long as I'm jumping all over the place with my thoughts today, let's rewind...

The first "title" of my blog was: "Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters." Lyrics from a Dave Matthew's song, if you were wondering (yeah, I'm one of those irritating college or relatively shortly-post-college twenty-somethings who likes DMB a bit too much. Meh, what can I say? His lyrics speak to me. HA! ;)). I did kind of like that title...a reminder to myself to enjoy life wherever it took me and to remember that it is the people in my life and the relationships that I've been blessed with that matter far more than where I am ("where" both literally and figuratively).

On January 11, 2010, I posted...New Year, New Title and "announced" that I'd changed the title to "...becoming who I want to be"

Ok...now this is weird. Weird, weird, weird. As I was driving to work this morning, "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot came on the radio. The lyrics of that song really always resonate with me....

The lyrics have been in my head again all morning. And, just now, as I entered the words "new title" into the search bar on my blog and hit "enter"...and the "new year, new title" post came up...and as I clicked on it and read the short little entry...WHAT do you think inspired the title "...becoming who I want to be"?????

Uh, yeah. The very same song.

I had forgotten about that.

SO WEIRD!

Here are the lyrics...

"This Is Your Life"

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose


Man.....

Anyway...what the heck will my new title be? Nerdy or not, "Some things can't be concealed with lipstick and powder" is it. (Inspired by Romo, of course. It has been swimming around in my head, just like the above lyrics, ever since he suggested it. Kinda saucy, blatant...still feminine (I do like being girly)...and gets to the point. Here I am! Take me or leave me! I may try to hide some things about myself...but really...I'm kinda just out there in all of my messed-up glory!)

How long will this title last? The last one stuck around for about a year. Who knows what 2011 will bring and what I'll be inspired by next!

yesterday is a wrinkle on my forehead...
hopefully TODAY is a great day :).

Thoughts...

Lately I've been thinking.

(Scary right?)

I read something on a blog this morning that mirrored some of my own jumbled-up thoughts of late, and put into words what I've been thinking/feeling/struggling with....

HOW do I balance all of my passions/interests?

And...

HOW do I stop overcommitting, saying YES all of the time, stretching myself so thin, etc........even to/with things that can pretty much ALL be considered "good"??

Song lyrics have been running through my head lately...."everything to everybody"....and I CAN'T be "everything" to "everyone" that I feel like I "need" to be.

Truth is, I probably don't NEED to be.

And, isn't it pretty narcissistic of me to even CONSIDER that I should try?

Balance in 2011....that's the name of the game.

How will I get there?

Posted by Rachelyn via Blogaway

Posted by Rachelyn via Blogaway

Hey Romo

Random post for you, Romo....

First of all.......Thanks for your comment just now....I had a good laugh over it and shared it with Jeremy who was thoroughly entertained by it as well. (And I won't post it, per your request :))

So, thanks :). Once again, you kept me from doing something crazy.

Yeah...so I got the weird idea in my head to try that tonight...and was doing some reading on the topic...and was kind of intrigued by the whole thing and ready to jump right onto that bandwagon. Hey, it's a new year after all....I need a new year's resolution, right?

Maybe instead I'll try to do less processed foods, more fruits/veggies, etc....

Not that you REALLY care ;), but also wanted to let you know....things are slowly improving on the running front. Little to no ankle pain...no knee pain...I'm trying some new shoes (Adidas Marathon 10)....and keeping better tabs on cross training.

I'm hoping to have the half at the U of I marathon be my "come-back" event....and to do a marathon in June and October. I would really like to do the Marine Corps marathon at the end of October in DC. We'll see.

That whole Boston thing...I'm still kind of hung up on the idea of qualifying. I don't really know "why" it's so appealing to me...but it really is.

There's so much to do, though, before I can run with the big boys and girls...

I need to get more serious about a better diet (I use my gluten-free status as an unfortunate "excuse" to eat basically whatever else I want...since I can't do gluten...and sometimes tend to convince myself that that's enough of a "sacrifice")....and weight training...and get back in the pool.

Also...my lame-o, random blog needs a new title. Any suggestions? ;)

Thanks Romo...you're the best un-known, random friend :). Now for that Chinese tattoo.... ;)

Merry Christmas!

I've been a bit of a slacker with trying to keep up with my December Daily project!  I've been taking a fair amount of photos each day; I've been carrying my camera in my purse and snapping pictures of "every-day" things like a big nerd (such as the heavy snow fall out my car windows as I sat in the Starbuck's drive-through yesterday! Ha!).  Also, Ive been keeping a small collection of mementos from the month (movie ticket stubs, the bulletin from our church's Christmas Eve service, etc...).  But, I haven't been doing very good about blogging/recording the little memories to add to the scrapbook.  Speaking of which, I havent even started the book....at all! I hope to have a bit of time to devote to that this week :).

Here's a few highlights from the last few days...

Monday, December 20

I worked a somewhat long/busy day.  The workday started at 7:30am with a meeting at High Road school, where I see 3 students.  I got to learn a bit about a AAC app available on the iPad, which was kind of neat.  I saw a bunch of kids throughout the day, and as usual didn't have enough time to quite get all of my documentation completed....and then actually left at 5:15 (a rare occurence for me!) to go finish up some Christmas shopping.

Later, I spoke with my friend Jillian....who was going in to the hospital to be induced at 9!  Sooooo excited/anxious for her!

Tuesday, December 21

I waited on pins and needles for news of my friend Jillian's baby's birth! She called me at 9am...no baby yet, but she was in labor! That was the first time I spoke with a woman who was in labor! ;)

A little after 1:30, I received a text with adorable photo....Oliver Alexander McGriff had arrived safely at 12:24pm!

That night I went over to the McGriff's house to get a few things (Cheese-it crackers and the boppy pillow!) and then went to the hospital.  I brought a balloon, gift (outfit from Old Navy), and some bright flowers. Tears came to my eyes as I hurried through the quiet hospital corridors.

He was beautiful.....and holding him felt amazing!   Nothing in the world quite compares to the miracle of a newborn.

Jeremy and I met for dinner around 8 at Herradura, our favorite Mexican restaurant.

After dinner....we went home. I actually went to bed shortly after 9 because I was so exhausted and felt like the exhaustion might actually be making me physically sick as well. This time of year is just crazy with all of the hustle and bustle!

Wednesday, Dec 22

This was my LAST work day before eleven consecutive days off!  It was a busy, but good, day.

We ordered Firehouse pizza for lunch....it is one of my favorites.  They have some  AWESOME gluten free pizza there!

Thursday, Dec 23.

Jeremy and I both had the day off and spent most of the day running separate Christmas errands.

Thursday night we went to Peoria to meet our good friend Aaron and Katie for dinner to celebrate Aaron's 29th birthday!  It's always a lot of fun spening time with them :).

On the way back, we (just J and I) decided to stop at Starplex Cinemas and went to the 10:25 showing of Tron. It was AWFUL! I really didn't like it at all! I'm sure it didnt help matters that I was super tired....but man, was it BORING!!

Friday, December 24

We slept in to about 10!  Since we'd gotten home late (thanks to that awful movie Tron!!), we didnt get to bed til close to 2.  So, really, we didn't sleep a TON more than usual! ;)

We went to the gym in the afternoon...and then I went to the grocery store and Starbucks, while Jeremy went to Lowe's, Menard's, and Home Depot (he is working on finishing a few things in our basement).

I made a cheesy potato caserole to bring over to his parents' for dinner.  After cleaning up from the gym, we headed over shortly after 5.  It had snowed excessively, so the drive that usually takes 12 or so minutes took close to a half hour!

After a delicious dinner, we went to the 9pm candlelight Christmas Eve service at our church. It was great...and nice to see some of our friends

Saturday, December 25

Merry Christmas!

We started the day off "right" again by sleeping in until around 9.  After getting ready for the day...we opened our presents to one another.   As usual, Jeremy outdid me with his thoughtfulness :).  He's a great gift-giver!

We headed over to his parents' house around 10 and ate some hors d'ovres and opened/exchanged more gifts.

Highlights include a digital camcorder to J and me from Jer's brother Jon (AWESOME!), and a large frame/shadow box with a bunch of my race medals displayed really nicely inside from J's parents! It was one of my favorite gifts, ever, and I can't wait to display it in our home!

Posted by Rachelyn via Blogaway

Posted by Rachelyn via Blogaway

december daily project, con't...

Day 11--Saturday, December 11 through Day 14--Tuesday, December 14th...whoops! Should probably go back through my camera and see if I can scrounge up a few memories from these days ;).

Day 15--Wednesday, December 15

• Today was Jillian's last day of work, pre-baby!! :)
  
  Day 16--Thursday, December 16
  
• I got up at 4:30 am to go to a spinning class at the gym...it had snowed a lot that past evening/early morning so I got to "blaze a trail" to the gym through unplowed streets!
• a stop at Starbucks on my way to work helped jump-start my day
• It was a busy day of lots of therapy sessions....but it went well
• My 4pm kiddo was video-taped by WMBD for footage for an Easter Seals case statement DVD that is being produced for our upcoming 2011 Telethon...this was sprung on me very last-minute, so I somewhat panicked! I had worn some "scrubby-looking" clothes that day and didn't feel very "TV-ready"...but I made do!
• I picked up Jillian's parents from the airport for her at 6:40...they flew into town to attend her Peoria Area Civic Chorale concerts this weekend (she and her husband were at a dress rehearsal and were unable to go pick them up...so I volunteered!)
• I stopped by our friends Josh and Laura's home to drop off a Christmas card...and talked to them for a while. They were having a bit of a rough day due to a pipe exploding in their home. At 7:45pm when I was there, a cleaning company was there helping them out. Ugh!!
• We got a late dinner at Chili's with our friends Steve and Jamie after Jeremy and Steve played racquetball together at the gym

Day 17--Friday, December 17

• I went to Peoria with two co-workers/friends, Jamie and Kristin for the Ray LaHood Center for Cerebral Palsy grand opening at the Peoria Easter Seals center
• Jamie and I got some yummy Chipotle for lunch on our way back to work
• I went to see one kiddo in his home for a final evaluation before his third birthday
• I taught a piano lesson and a kiddo's home
• Jeremy and I went to a retirement party for his father at the home of his father's successor. It was actually a great time! I saw my friend/co-worker Dawn there (her husband Scott works in the law department at State Farm, which is where Jeremy's dad worked)
• Jon (Jeremy's brother), Jeremy, and I went to Shoe Carnival after the party to shoe shop (Jeremy has two friends who work there...and they were having a "friends and family" sale)

Day 18--Saturday, December 18

• Jeremy worked...he will get this coming Wednesday off in exchange for working today! (in addition to Thursday and Friday off for Christmas!)
• I went to the gym and cleaned/did laundry
• I picked Jeremy up at 1:30 and we went to Steak and Shake for lunch on his lunch break
• I went Christmas shopping...the crowds were INSANE!!
• We had dinner at Famous Dave's with our friends Paul and Lisa and sat and talked for 2 hours...Lisa and I "bonded" over apparently similar ideas about child-rearing someday (coming from two women who don't have kids yet ;))
• Jeremy and I watched Toy Store 3 in the "man cave" :)

December rolls on!

Oh, this December Daily project is exciting me so :).

I do so love the Christmas season...which you wouldn't know if you visited our home right now :). We have minimal Christmas decorations displayed...our powder room has a Christmas-y monogrammed 'B' hand towel, our stove has a snowman towel hanging from it (yeah, I'm partial to themed towels...one of my quirks. I buy many towels throughout the year. LOVE themed towels! HA!), and I put out my "12 Days of Christmas" scrapbook from last December (that still isn't completely finished).

Tree? Nope.
Stockings? Nah.
Snowmen? None in sight.
Wreath? What?!

Nativity? Not yet.

I told my good friend Brooke via text last weekend that I hadn't gotten my decorations out yet...her response?

YOU SCROOGE!

Harumph. Maybe so, Brookie. Sorry!!! ;)

Regardless...I DO kind of feel like a failure of a woman/wife right now since I haven't decorated our home all cutesy for the holidays yet...but Jeremy just looked at me as if I am truly crazy when I asked him if he cares. He doesn't. Ha!

So, this year, I just might not do it.

I have been looking for ways of cutting back on "unnecessary" stressors, and honestly right now the thought of decorating my home stresses me out. So, I am not going to deal with it. Today is December 10th. Christmas is 15 days away. If I decide at some point in the next 14 days or so that I really NEED some Christmas decorations...perhaps I'll put some out.

But again, maybe not. ;)

Now, when we have children...I will definitely decorate. I wouldn't deprive my children of the fun of a home full of Christmas cheer just because I don't FEEL like decorating. But at this point in our lives? Meh, we're good. HA!

Ok...all of that being said...let's carry on with the rest of my December Daily project!

Day 4-December 4th, 2010.

(Continued from previous post)
On Saturday night, Jeremy and I went to Chili's for dinner (one of our "standards") and then home for a movie. We put in "Law Abiding Citizen"...and I only lasted about 30 minutes. It was kind of disturbing...and made me feel sick (maybe I'm just a big wimp ;)). So, Jeremy and Izzy watched the movie with out me....

Day 5-Sunday, December 5th

I went up to Peoria with Jillian to help her teach her final scrapbooking class at Scrapadoodle....well, her final class before baby McG makes his grand debut, anyway! She asked me to go up to help her out...so I did! It was a lot of fun. The project today was a canvas tote bag. It was really cute!
Here she is in all of her teaching glory :). She is a great teacher :).
Me and the teacher :).
Oh, you're such a fun, cute pregnant gal Jillian!

Sunday evening after we helped out at the high school youth group Sunday fellowship (Jeremy and I are youth leaders), we vegged out a bit at home and got ready for the week.

We watched SNL on our DVR from the night before...and "What's up with that?" one of our FAVORITE re-curring skits was on. HA!

Jeremy polished some of his work shoes while we watched...

...and I worked on writing messages in our Christmas cards!

Jeremy made a pretty darn creative Christmas card for us to send out this year (not to everyone...clearly these weren't cheap! He made cd's with some of our favorite non-traditional Christmas songs, along with custom designed labels and album insterts. Love his creativity!

My contribution was writing personal messages in each :).

Christmas cards!

Jeremy decided to give our little Izzy a tuna treat :). She goes NUTS!

Here she is, all stretched out and anxious to get her treat!

YUM! ;)

Day 6-Monday, December 6

So my therapy room at Easter Seals is SO COLD!

Jillian lent me her awesome space heater...truly amazing :).

View from my therapy room window...snowy Bloomington, IL.

One view of my cluttered, too-full therapy room...lots of toys and books!

One of my Monday kiddos putting together a Mickey Mouse puzzle while we worked on his speech targets...clearly for privacy reasons, I cannot take a picture of kiddos' faces!

A common sight of mine....Raintree! Raintree is our electronic documentation system at Easter Seals. Many an hour is spent documenting therapy and evaluations in this system.

Day 7-Tuesday, December 7th

After work, we had our friends Steve and Jamie over to watch Inception! Inception was just released on DVD today, so Jeremy went to Blockbuster right after work to rent it. He had suggested yesterday that we start a Tuesday-night movie night...

I am not sure if we will really keep it up EVERY Tuesday night, but it was a great first "movie night" and it was fun to have Steve and Jamie as our first guests!

We had fun visiting, eating snacks, and watching an awesome movie. Steve and Jamie hadn't seen it before...and they loved it!

Jeremy and I had seen it a few months prior in the theater...and couldn't wait to see it again.

Ahhhh...my latest issue of Runner's World!

Day 8-Wednesday, December 8

After a very busy day at work...I headed to my favorite salon in town, Girl Friday!

The lovely Colleen hooked me up with a cut and color that I love.

Here I am under the dryer :).

Here's the lovely Col :).

Day 9-Thursday, December 9

Tonight after work, Jeremy and I attended a retirement party for his father at Biaggi's, hosted by Ed and Sally Rust (the CEO of State Farm and his wife). It was an awesome dinner and a great time.

Day 10--Friday, December 10

Here's my very messy therapy room table...where I often camp out to work on various work projects. It was looking extra-cluttered today! We're under the gun at Easter Seals. Surveyors from CARF, our accreditation agency, are coming on Monday and Tuesday of next week so we have to ensure that each and every one of our t's are crossed and i's are dotted!

I had a busy morning consisting of two kids and one meeting...and then a work lunch at Herradura that I helped organize. It was nice to sit down and relax over some yummy food with some of my fun co-workers! Christina, Veronica, Jamie, Kathi, Gretchen, Kristin, and Kristin's adorable 2-year-old daughter Ellie joined me. It was a great time!

After lunch, I headed over to Girl Friday for the second time this week! I had made an appointment for a pedicure and shellac manicure...my friends Jamie and Jillian had given me a gift card for my birthday that I was all too excited to use! It was relaxing and awesome...

I wore skinny jeans (my new obsession)...and got the darn jeans stuck over my calves! I had rolled them up (no easy feat...those puppies are TIGHT!) for the pedicure and had quite a bit of difficulty getting them down! I felt like a freak show!

Both Nikki (the nail tech) and Colleen had to work at them with me to get them down! Here is Colleen...I snapped this picture right as she got my second pant leg down FINALLY! haha!!!

After the pampering, I went to teach a piano lesson :). It was the second lesson for my newest student and went very well. After the lesson, I went back to work where I worked on getting my documentation up to date.

Jeremy picked me up at 7 and we headed across town to one of our favorite dinner spots..Moe's! We each got some delicious vegetarian nachos (our favorite).

The Bulls game was on...so naturally Jeremy tended to stare at the nearest TV screen ;).

Neither of us ever eats all of our nachos...so we combine the leftovers at the end, and Jeremy gets to have the big pile of goo sometime later during the week :).

Mmmmm....Moe's sweet tea is one of my favorite things in the entire world!

When we got home, we were SUPER pumped to find this in our mailbox....

One of the most anticipated parts of Christmas! The "Christmas card" from our friends, the Lentz's!

Here it is, hanging on our fridge...

This year they made an ADVENT CALENDAR! How cool is that?! We can't open the 1st door until Dec. 13th...can't wait!

December....so far, so great!